12 Days of Christmas - Real Estate Style

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My Realtor® sent to me:
Twelve Offers Coming!!!
Eleven Ads Hyping
Ten Inspectors Weeping
Nine Buyers Prancing
Eight Contractors Bilking
Seven Appraisers Slimming
Six Prayers for Saying
Five Feedback Stings
Four Falling Hopes
Three Staging Friends
Two Cleaning Gloves
And a Hefty Price Reduction Plea.

There are days when I feel like I make a living torturing people and so I had such fun putting this together.  Best wishes to you and yours for a safe and happy holiday season.  May all your real estate dealings go smoothly! 

Coffee Table Decorations: Organizing Coffee Table Books and Trays | Pott...

With a difficult real estate market, almost nothing is more important than stagging when you are getting ready to sell a house. I was quite excited to find this clip from Pottery Barn (after all, what's more exciting than a house described as a Pottery Barn decor !) but was left a little unimpressed. Is it just me? What do you think of these coffee table decorations???

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

A client I'm currently working with suggested that I put together a course to teach fellow Realtors how to photograph houses. The first thing that went through my mind was that he felt I need to supplement my income. After all, things are pretty slow. But this afternoon I took a hard look at some of the stuff that's in the MLS and they are just to funny not to share.

This first gem is from a really expensive house. Really expensive. Like well over $500,000. Can't you tell from the light fixture?

The next photo was taken by an agent that works lots and lots of hours. That must be why he (or she) had to take it after dark.

I'm sure a lot of thought went into this photo. Let's see. How can we illustrate how convenient this home is to the road?

I'm pretty sure the next house comes with a couch. That must be why they featured this photo.

Shadow! What Shadow?

According to media reports, the groundhog saw his shadow this morning and so we are in for six more weeks of winter. Impossible! It's so grey and gloomy out that my GPS system can't find a satellite signal and they're saying a groundhog found his shadow. It must be a conspiracy to slow down the local real estate market.

Enjoy the perma-gray! It didn't slow down these ice fisherman on Conesus Lake.

Never Do This if Your House is on the Market!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the middle of showing a house when the phone rang. I continued to show the house, pointing out the deep closets and hardwoods in good condition, when the answering machine turned on.

"This is Joe. Leave a message," we all heard.

"This is a collect call from an inmate at the Monroe County Jail. Do you accept the charges?" was the message that was left!

We all looked at each other and quickly left. Negotiating with a seller who is buddies with local inmates didn't appeal to my clients.

The moral of the story is if your house is on the market, either turn off the anwering machine or hit the mute button!

What's In Your SPAM Folder?

If I don't show up for our real estate appointment this week it's because I've decided to retire. You see, I got this e-mail from a Canadian attorney . He represents the estate of a Shell Oil executive that died in a plane crash. They have not been able to locate family members and so he's asked if I would step in as next of kin and inherit a fortune. (Shell Oil....Shelsby...kind of sounds alike. That must be the connection!) All I need to do is e-mail him some information on my bank accounts for the transfer and my social security number (It's such a large fortune, I won't even mind paying inheritance taxes.)

And once I give up the hectic real estate schedule, there will be no need for me to be on the look out for a good deal on a watch. I have always tried very hard to be punctual, but I guess I've not done a very good job. I keep getting these e-mails offering a wonderful price on Rolex watches.

When I'm rich, I'll no longer need to buy discounted prescription drugs through the Internet either. I'll be able to walk down to the corner CVS and stand in line and proudly pay full price for whatever ails me. And every night when we sit down to watch the nightly news I'll take great pride in knowing I did my part to support all the commercials that say "Ask your doctor if XYZ is right for you."

Of course glamor and money go hand and hand. Never again will I need to sort through all the e-mails that promise an improved sex life. At the very minimum, I'm sure my relationship with my husband will improve if I stop forwarding those "Enlargement Cure" e-mails!

As more and more New Yorkers start their real estate search on the Internet, I get more and more leads via e-mail. And if I've never communicated with these people before, chances are their inquiry ends up in my SPAM folder. Last week, I found an inquiry from a long-time client that used their significant other's account to contact me. So at least once a day I go through the SPAM folder looking for legitimate e-mail.

Unfortunately, the market is so slow right now I've actually started reading the SPAM. Sad, isn't it?

Where Was This Guy When I Needed Him?

Have you seen these billboards around town? We Buy Ugly Houses.com! A real estate agents dream come true!

Like most agents, when I first started in the business and didn't have much experience, it seemed like I could only get listings that no one else wanted. Believe me, I've sold my fair share of ugly houses. Now, people actually call me to sell their house and usually they are pretty nice. Just when I don't have any ugly houses to sell, this guy's ugly mug is all over town offering to buy ugly house. Dumb luck, isn't it?