If I don't show up for our real estate appointment this week it's because I've decided to retire. You see, I got this e-mail from a Canadian attorney . He represents the estate of a Shell Oil executive that died in a plane crash. They have not been able to locate family members and so he's asked if I would step in as next of kin and inherit a fortune. (Shell Oil....Shelsby...kind of sounds alike. That must be the connection!) All I need to do is e-mail him some information on my bank accounts for the transfer and my social security number (It's such a large fortune, I won't even mind paying inheritance taxes.)
And once I give up the hectic real estate schedule, there will be no need for me to be on the look out for a good deal on a watch. I have always tried very hard to be punctual, but I guess I've not done a very good job. I keep getting these e-mails offering a wonderful price on Rolex watches.
When I'm rich, I'll no longer need to buy discounted prescription drugs through the Internet either. I'll be able to walk down to the corner CVS and stand in line and proudly pay full price for whatever ails me. And every night when we sit down to watch the nightly news I'll take great pride in knowing I did my part to support all the commercials that say "Ask your doctor if XYZ is right for you."
Of course glamor and money go hand and hand. Never again will I need to sort through all the e-mails that promise an improved sex life. At the very minimum, I'm sure my relationship with my husband will improve if I stop forwarding those "Enlargement Cure" e-mails!
As more and more New Yorkers start their real estate search on the Internet, I get more and more leads via e-mail. And if I've never communicated with these people before, chances are their inquiry ends up in my SPAM folder. Last week, I found an inquiry from a long-time client that used their significant other's account to contact me. So at least once a day I go through the SPAM folder looking for legitimate e-mail.
Unfortunately, the market is so slow right now I've actually started reading the SPAM. Sad, isn't it?